Something Unexpected

Captain's Log,
I'll try and make this the last of the sad posts.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy that I'm here, but I'm currently suffering from something that I really didn't expect - the crushing loneliness. I have a very hard time looking at pictures of/talking to my friends on facebook without tearing up. There's really no one here I can talk to.

I want to show these people that I'm a happy cauldron of energy, and that I can barely contain the excited-ness I have for being in their country, but I have no real way of conveying that. And that hurts. A lot. Instead I feel like a bit of a sideshow. I get a lot of stares, but I just smile and bow at them, usually gets a positive response.

I don't really miss home, I miss what's going on at home (Athens), and more importantly I miss my friends. New ones await, but goddammit, I wish that would hurry up. Aside from joining social circles, I'm not really sure how to make friends here, especially since I can't really talk - yet.

It'll just take time adjusting and trying new things. I knew it would be rough at first, but I vastly underestimated it.

I still feel tired, I'm trying to relax, but that's difficult. A beer and a massage would do the trick, but I currently have access to neither. Sleep does an ok job, but my mattress is rock hard, so there's another thing that'll take getting used to.

Happenings today, my host brother got my internet working, I just hope it doesn't overshadow my interactions with my family. Okaasan (what I'll be referring to my host-mother as from now on) and I went out to lunch, which was next to this Germanic building that had all of these neat plants and gardening things, along with handmade trinkets. Okaasan found it funny that I had never had umeboshi (pickled plums) and onigiri (rice balls) before, and that I can't eat natto (fermented soybeans) because it smells too bad.

Last night, Okaasan's daughter called, she's living in Holland with her boyfriend, we spoke and it was nice to be able to speak English with someone. I know, I know, I'm here to speak Japanese, but it still felt nice.