Entry for yesterday

Captain's Log:
I was fine until today. I didn’t quite realize just how bad my ability to communicate in this language was. I met my host mother today, and I can barely communicate with her. She seems nice, but I feel bad and embarrassed that I can’t understand what she’s saying. I’m exhausted physically and mentally, trying to think of words is a chore. I’ve never been this unsure of myself. I’m horribly boned for the placement test.

I know fear now. I’m scared. I’ve never been this scared before. I feel utterly alone, and unable to do anything. I know this will pass, but it’s searing into me right now. Not to mention I also feel physically ill, I’ve been light-headed for most of the day, and nausea’s starting to kick in. I just want to sleep.

I lost my colloquial Kansai book on the bus from the airport to the meeting place. I’m mad about this, but I’ll just order another I guess. I met the other exchange students and I wonder how they’re doing, and if they’re in as much trouble as I am.

I want a beer, and I want to sleep.

Just so this entry isn’t all frowns, at the airport yesterday, I walked by a family that had a little girl that couldn’t have been older than 4 or 5. As I walked past, I saw her face light up – she had never seen a redhead before. That made me smile.